There are times that hell will break loose and the devils will come down to earth hunting. There are lots of problems most face in their relationship that tends to suppress their happiness and safety. Some have the courage of voicing it out while others keep mute and stay uncomfortable in the relationship because of their strong appreciation for love.
While our partners can be hurt, we can hold ourselves accountable for what we have done that caused the mishap within the relationship. It doesn’t cost a dime to make corrections. Sometimes, most of us tend to stay quiet and watch them space hoping that, things will get back to normal in due course. Though it may be very discomforting when trying to clean up any mess you create but that’s also, the honest way to prove your love and loyalty to your partner.
Therefore, when you hurt your partner, the best thing to do is to get in contact with them and resolve the situation at hand.
Take Responsibility For Your Actions
It is vital to exhibit acts of remorse and accept that, what you did was wrong. Also, if you happen to be unaware of what you’ve done wrong to hurt your partner, feel free to ask for clarification. When you’re informed, you should tell your partner that, you know you’ve made a couple of mistakes and you sincerely take responsibility for your actions. Even if you don’t side or agree with your partner’s claims, just accept it and sort things out with her. It proves how responsible and caring you are towards the relationship. It also proves how much you value it. To accept responsibility for your actions without escalating the issue; you could say phrases such as;
“I’m sorry I did or say that you”
“What I did was wrong, forgive me for my actions”
“I take blames for my actions”
“I wish I’d thought about it before executing. I made a huge mistake”
Read Also: Written Poem: I Am Sorry – Daniel ThePoet
Don’t Act or Feel Bossy
Acting bossy will only worsen the situation. Even though you might want to show your power in the relationship, but you should put yourselves first before any other thing. Exhibiting an act of pride, egoism, lordliness or arrogance will only taunt your respect and might bring the relationship to an end. Don’t feel too big to say sorry, apologize or take responsibility for what you did or did not do. Pride will tell you how good and right you are a bit after, you’ll regret your actions for a lifetime. Apologizing will not wipe out your dignity or take out your power from you. It only strengthens the kind of love, respect and value your partner has for you. It shows how mature and responsible you are.
Exhibit An Act Of Remorse (Show That You’re Sorry )
Not just words that mean nothing. Your emotions should speak volume of your utterances. You must be truthful and honest with your apologies. Identify your mistakes and accept that, what you did was wrong and you are not bigger than making changes to sustain the relationship. Seeking forgiveness for saying sorry is not enough to trust that you mean your words. How, manner and the mood for which you empress it counts most. You should be patient, confident and emotional while showing how sorry you are. Your words should carry weight. But you do not necessarily have to deliver a lengthy speech for her to understand you. Few words with utmost maturity can work the magic.
While speaking to her about your mistakes and seeking to be a better person, reason carefully about what you can do to make things. You must also not forget that, your partner might not be ready, it is normal to ask if there is the need to give him or her some space to cool it off. If you are also unsure what to do to make things right, you can ask your partner what he or she thinks might help to decipher the feud between you. Tell him or her that, you are ever ready to do anything in your power to make things right.
In as much as you are looking forward to making things right, you should desist from making empty promises, faking emotions and making insincere apologies.
Be Truthful & Transparent
Just as your partner might find it difficult to understand or express him/herself around you, you can also find it hard to explain yourself better for him/her to fully understand your reasons. Do not try to defend yourself for something you said but your partner tends to not agree with you. Don’t argue. Tell him or her what happened exactly, if you’re unsure what had happened to cause the animosity, ask her. If she refuses to speak up, just tell her you’re deeply sorry for whatever had happened. Being truthful and transparent with your partner with complete sincerity and frankness helps to heal broken glasses.
You must know that lies can be used to quickly settle the matter but they will shortly dismantle your relationship for time being. Lies cannot be hidden forever. Therefore, telling the truth, which can be very hard to do, is the best way to resolve an issue in a relationship. Even if the truth will hurt much worse than she feels, do it. Take the risk. If she doesn’t appreciate your honesty today, she will, some time to come. Just believe in yourself and respect her decision and choices.
Don’t force him/her to understand you. Don’t try to persuade him/her to understand you. Don’t also try to use dubious means to catch up her mind. Let it work out naturally. Try to see the issue from your partner’s point of view. This shows how ready you are to;
- Resolve the issue
- Take responsibilities
- Make adjustments
Read Also: 7 Signs She Likes You; Shoot Your Shot
Learn From What’d Happened
Petty mistakes can be illfare to relationships. Therefore, it is vital to learn from your mistakes and never go back to them again. Always remember what nearly caused you the relationship and be sure to never repeat that. Never have it mind that, even if do that again, your partner will still have the heart to forgive you. Your partner might be all-forgiving but not always. Learning from your mistakes can largely help you take better measures to strengthen your relationship with your partner without having any problems.
What To do If Your Partner Fails To Understand Or Is Still Upset After A Longer Period
Do not expect your partner to understand whatever you say or do while trying to make corrections and resolve the issues with him/her. He or she could take it more gravely and personal than you ever imagined. In this case, there is little you can do to help yourself and your partner. But you should try all you can to make things right depending on who your partner is. You can try these based on your partner’s personality.
1. Giving him or her distance to think through for couple of days. Therefore, if he or she asks for some time or days to think about it, do not force it. Give him or her time.
2. Check him or her occasionally via texts(SMS, Social Media, etc). Even if she doesn’t reply to return your messages, don’t give up, she’s seen them. When this continues for a while, she’ll probably have a change of mind and get back to you. But if your actions don’t yield any positive results for a longer period, she might be losing interest in you or she might have lost interest in the relationship.
3. Getting a relationship counsellor’s advice. Getting this kind of help might be difficult and seems to not be necessary but it is. You should seek professional counselling to help you get through this. A counsellor can help you identify unidentifiable mistakes within yourself or the relationship which you never know of and help you to effectively resolve it.
Do you have any suggestions? Comment with it(them) and let’s get interactive. Thank you.
Poet Nazir is a writer and an editor here on ThePoetsHub. Outside this space, he works as a poet, screenwriter, author, relationship adviser and a reader. He is also the founder & lead director of PNSP Studios, a film production firm.
