Love is a rational feeling and of course, most people, about 99% of humanity fall in its bosom to find peace, relaxation, progress and the quest to feel loved. So day in and out, adults are fond of trying to find the best one for themselves, others temporary and some too, with the intention of getting yoked.
What happens in the heart is, the thirst of love that ignites in the heart is so huge and strange that, it tends to rather control the body than the body controls the love. That’s how it rolls.
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So the question is, don’t kids(children) also feel the thirst adult feel? Or love is just a cage for only and only adults, after all, only adults have the heart to feel it. Lol. Literarily, children also, one way or the other, especially in the 21st century, begin to develop this feeling of needing love. Even though, they might not have excellent knowledge on how to go about it. So this is where peer chips in.
The great source of influence. One thing for sure is kids who discover the existence and need to love and be loved at a very tender age, grow to be teenagers who appear to “know more about the world than even their great grandparents“. However, their idea about it might be negative and positive too.
Lest we forget too, the expression ‘I love you‘ is not a harmful thing to say or a toxic word that eventually had a bad tag on it. Or does it not mean ‘intercourse’ or even something that’s ‘romantic’. Where most of us grew, ‘I love you‘ is one of the most common expressions we barely live without hearing from our parents, teachers, neighbours and even siblings or relatives. All in all, how it is being said and the manner it is being said matters.
Intention speaks so does actions. To children, ‘I love you’ means to like someone but to keep the explanation in its original form, is up to you the parent, foster parent or guardian. Children should under no circumstance be allowed to get another understanding out of their matrimonial homes. They should be taught what they need to know before picking anything from their peers.
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To strategically deal with this, you must first know and understand the child(yours or someone’s) you’re dealing with. You must at least a little amount of percentage, know what he/she know about love and how they understand it. This will help you reexplain and structure the best way to make him/her understand per correctness. This might seem like a load of work, yes it is, and it’s not a piece of cake. This is mostly uncommon in an African community. Yea, everyone seems to be full of himself, the circle Home > Work < Home.
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Table of Contents
1. Help Them Know The Difference Among The Reality, Experience & Rumor.
Children always want to try to practice what they see or hear. They are full of youthful exuberance in almost all aspects of growing up. It is pretty hard to stop but you can walk them through it, just try, it’s your responsibility and it’s their future. You can use the experience to explain how it felt especially when you were young. Tell them real stories from your time. You might as well slide in with a little ‘lie’ that’s meant to either scare what they’ve heard or a lesson to them, right.
In school, most students professed that; they’ve been warned to never talk about love or even think about it or discuss it with anyone, whether older or younger. The negative image given to ‘love’ becomes the very reason they develop the urge to find why. And from whom will they seek this education? Friends(peer) and trust me, you don’t want that.
2. Make ‘Love’ An Ordinary Word
It is vital that children understand the various forms of love (relationship). Some relationships exist between your child(ren) and peers, you and your child(ren) and of course, your child(ren) and the society. The reason is that, if you decide to specialize or particularize the stand of love, you tend to give them a choice to choose and remember, no one loves bitterness. Making love ordinary goes a long way into helping them better understand what they are dealing with. This will inform them about their earlier thoughts and what they’re being taught in the process.
“Love is showing affection for someone or a strong desire for someone or something. We are all bound to love one another. It’s natural to love someone without thinking otherwise. Simply, love is caring for someone as much as you greatly care about yourself. It shouldn’t go beyond that”.
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3. Your Experience vs Their Reality
You should know that you can’t force children to understand or take your word for it. You’ve got to be extra real or persuasive on this or you’ll cause more harm than good to them. As said previously, with less pressure, you can best use yesterday’s experience to explain what you think they are going through or are likely to go through if they do not trek consciously. It might appear that they already know what you are talking about, they’ve heard quite a number of them. It’s just you versus your words.
You either help them better understand you or they’ll never take you seriously. You can choose to hug, hold their hand affectionately or even give them a peck and ask them how that feels. “It’s warm…” It feels good…“. Then you can tell them how it also feels good when they hug or hold someone dearly but that should be done without any second thought. The rationale behind it is very important. They should just do it right.
Also, you explain to them that love is a way of showing someone how much you dearly care for them. It goes beyond just thinking or checking up on that fellow. It is best to show an act of kindness, generosity and love towards one another, surely, away to live a happy life ever after.
4. There Is Limit To Everything
Teach them. There is a limit to everything in this world. That’s why there is even a limit to some parts of their body when they attain certain ages. Things could go off guard. They must be taught that, as well as love could be used to express admiration and care, it could also be used otherwise in a much worse or dirty manner. And that’s not normal. Sometimes, things like this need persistent and consistent prompts.
Openly tell them to report any profane touches or abusive relationship between themselves and any peer, either from school, home or the community to you, religious leaders or teachers. Teach them to be very careful with profanity and insane use of ‘funny romantic use of words’. It’s not funny. “You’re very special and unique. No one is allowed to touch you, say or molest you morally”. Let it sound like an everyday assignment to them and you’ve eyes on them.
End Part
Your children should be your topmost priority. You must value them and whatever they find themselves in. You must teach them what is right and what society thinks is right. If you don’t teach them to listen to you, they’ll grow up with lust for their peers’ advice and you’ll live to blame yourself. Do it now, do it well!
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